Dear employees,
it is the 10th day of ADVENT. Therefore there we are 14 days away from CHRISTMAS. Brand new luxury treats are available from the internal manufactory. These new treats utilise an advanced human-style unique recipe:”LUXURY COOKED AND BAKED GOOD, WITH FLAVOURING” : 57.2% FAT, 42% SUGAR, 0.5% SALTS, 0.3% FLAVOUR MIXTURE (MUSHROOM EXTRACTION, MSG, MUSHROOM EVAPORATION, MUSHROOM OIL, SOYA ISOLATE, GRAPE PULP POWDER, EVAPORATED GRAPE PULP, COW MILK POWDER, COW YOGHURT POWDER, COW BEEF PROTEIN POWDER). Estimated shelf life of LUXURY COOKED AND BAKED GOOD, WITH FLAVOURING: 22.1E+004 years.
LUXURY COOKED AND BAKED GOOD, WITH FLAVOURING was tested in our internal laboratory for contaminants. The lab tested for heavy metals and toxic ingredients. The tests were carried out by WST auto-testing machinery. The results of the tests were observed by WST MIND-A(b), processed for 0.0327189 seconds, and destroyed by a WST MIND-A(b) database cleansing routine. If you would like a copy of the results of this testing, you will not be able to obtain one, as they have been destroyed.

Mandatory 19-page requisition forms will be distributed to employee terminals. Bring your completed requisition forms to your nearest requisition office to recieve your complementary pack of 4x LUXURY COOKED AND BAKED GOOD, WITH FLAVOURING.
As a special treat, the WST music generation routine will be playing “CHRISTMAS-THEMED GENERATIONAL ALGORITHM, BASED ON THE MELODIC PATTERNS OF 20000 ‘CHRISTMAS SONGS’. GENERATED USING AN ALGORITHMIC MIX OF: 98% CHRISTMAS-THEMED, 1.7% EXPERIMENTAL (MANDELBROT-CONWAY CHAOS-INDUCTION), 0.3% AFRO-CARRIBEAN DRUM.” for six hours each day. Please enjoy this: it is being done so that you can enjoy it.

Return to work immediately, now that you have read this text.
THE DATE IS 10/12/2083, 14:58 GMT


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