+++ WST MIND-C(d) TEXTUAL CORRESPONDENCE REF: “SAFETY DRILL NOTICE 2084-01-21.06”

Dear employees of FACILITY 1319:
Today at 15:57:12 GMT a WST MIND-B workplace safety routine will trigger a LEVEL 19 FACILITY-WIDE FIRE EMERGENCY DRILL. It is mandatory for all employees to read the relevant section (pages 411-703) of the WST EMERGENCY RESPONSE GUIDEBOOK in preparation for this drill.
The LEVEL 19 drill will feature pyrotechnics designed to simulate real fire. It is therefore likely that many of your personal effects may be destroyed during the simulated emergency. Note that WST has a policy to accept no liability for damages resulting from ermegencies, simulated or otherwise.

A reminder that only those who have completed the EMERGENCY EXIT PROCEDURES I & II qualifications may attempt to escape during drills or real emergencies. Any employee without these qualifications who attempts to escape is in breach of company policy and will be severely reprimanded. In the likely event that the employee expires during the unsanctioned escape, WST will seek fiscal compensation from their next of kin.

The next training month for EMERGENCY EXIT PROCEDURES I will be MARCH 2092.The next training month for EMERGENCY EXIT PROCEDURES II will be FEBRUARY 2092.Note that it is necessary to have compleyed EMERGENCY EXIT PROCEDURES I before taking EMERGENCY EXIT PROCEDURES II.Each course requires attending a 4 hour lecture every day during the designated month. This 4 hour lecture is not sanctioned by management and will count as personal time. This will be docked from your pay, along with the cost of the course and necessary materials.

Due to inefficient escape routes, employees in HIGHLY FLAMMABLE MATERIALS STORAGE 01 should be particularly vigilant during the drill.

WST values company safety very highly, and hopes that today’s drill will be carried out smoothly by all involved.
END OF TRANSMISSION

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+++ WST MIND-A TEXTUAL CORRESPONDENCE REF: “COMPETITIVE SPORT EXPERIENCE 2083-12-18”

#COMPANY WIDE BROADCAST#
DEAR EMPLOYEES,
THIS SATURDAY 18/12/2083 AT 06:30 GMT YOU ARE INVITED TO WITNESS A SPORT EVENT TO CELEBRATE THIS FOURTH QUARTER. 
YOUR PRESENCE IS MANDATORY. 
THE LOCATION OF THE EVENT WILL BE THE “WST EMPLOYEE-8382946 MEMORIAL LEVEL ASTROTURF SURFACE”.
THE SPORT BEING PLAYED HAS BEEN PROCEDURALLY GENERATED BY WST MIND-A(t):
> THERE WILL BE “2” TEAMS > EACH TEAM WILL CONSIST OF “6” SPORT COMPETITORS> THERE WILL BE “7” PLAYING PERIODS > EACH PERIOD WILL BE “34” MINUTES LONG> THERE WILL BE “4” “BALLS” OF A “GENERALLY SPHERICALLY NATURE”> “19” POINT-SCORING AREAS, CONSISTING OF “4.00m” x “0.50m” DISTRIBUTED RANDOMLY> THE BALLS MUST BE ARTICULATED USING THE SPORT COMPETITOR’S “LEFT ELBOW” AND/OR “RIGHT FOOT”> THE SPORT WILL BE CONSIDERED “CONTACT”
IF YOU HAVE RECEIVED TEXTUAL CORRESPONDENCE REF: “SPOR- 4759” YOU HAVE BEEN SELECTED TO PERFORM AS A SPORT COMPETITOR. THIS TIME WILL BE DOCKED FROM PAYMENT AS WILL AN ADDITIONAL UNDISCLOSED AMOUNT FOR UNIFORM AND EQUIPMENT RENTAL FEES. THIS WILL BE REFLECTED IN YOUR DECEMBER PAY SLIP.
END OF CORRESPONDENCE

+++ WST MIND-T TEXTUAL CORRESPONDENCE REF: “MEMETIC IMAGE” 2083-12-16

#COMPANY WIDE BROADCAST#
DEAR NIGHT EMPLOYEES,
IT HAS COME TO THE ATTENTION OF THE WST MANAGEMENT BUREAU AND THE WST “HUMAN” RESOURCES BUREAU THAT MANY OF OUR NIGHT-SHIFT EMPLOYEES ARE FEELING NEGLECTED.
TO COMBAT THIS A RESPONSE FROM WST MIND-T(t), AS PROCESSED BY WST MIND-T(v) IS AS FOLLOWS:
“PLEASE ENJOY THIS HUMOROUS MEMETIC IMAGE, ON BEHALF OF WST”

IMG - HUMOUR - 107986.jpg

END OF CORRESPONDENCE
PLEASE RETURN TO YOUR WORK

+++ WST MIND-T(b) TEXTUAL CORRESPONDENCE REF: “DAILY ANNOUNCEMENTS” “‘HUMAN’ RESOURCES” 2083-12-13.1

#COMPANY WIDE BROADCAST#
DEAR EMPLOYEES,
HERE ARE THE DAY’S ANNOUNCEMENTS FOR DATE: 2083-12-13
> IN RESPONSE TO THE THEFT OF SPECIFIC WST PROPERTY, AND THE SUBSEQUENT “BLACK MARKET”, WST MIND-Q HAS CONSIDERED OFFICIAL COMPANY ACTION AND CONCLUDED:> ALL “STAPLERS” ARE NOW CONTRABAND. PLEASE DISPOSE OF ANY YOU FIND AT YOUR NEAREST REQUISITION OFFICE. NO REFUND WILL BE OFFERED. ANY RESISTANCE WILL BE CONSIDERED DISSENT. ANY DISSENTERS WILL BE ISSUED A DISCIPLINARY HEARING WITH THE WST SECURITY ENFORCEMENT AND INTERNAL AFFAIRS BUREAU.
> WST WOULD LIKE TO ENCOURAGE ALL EMPLOYEES AT SITE 57Q TO IGNORE THE UNIDENTIFIED ORGANIC MATTER CURRENTLY GROWING ON FLOOR 4 OF BUILDING 270. IT WILL NOT CAUSE YOU HARM IF YOU MAINTAIN A HEALTHY WALKING PACE AND AVOID “EYE” CONTACT.> WST CBRNE (CHEMICAL, BIOLOGICAL, RADIOLOGICAL, NUCLEAR, ELDRITCH) DISPOSAL AND MANAGEMENT BUREAU AGENTS WILL ATTEND TO THE ANOMALY WITHIN 48 HOURS.> THERE WILL BE A MINUTE’S SILENCE TOMORROW AT 12:00 GMT TO REMEMBER THOSE LOST THE PREVIOUS EVENING AT SITE 57Q. MAY THEIR EMPLOYEE IDs NEVER BE DUPLICATED AND THUS REMAIN UNIQUE TO THEIR EMPLOYMENT. 
END OF ANNOUNCEMENTS.
WE AT THE WST ‘HUMAN’ RESOURCES BUREAU WOULD LIKE TO REQUEST AN EMOTIONALLY POSITIVE AND PRODUCTIVE WINTER CELEBRATION PERIOD.
THE DATE IS 13/12/2083 14:05 GMT
END OF CORRESPONDENCE

+++ WST MIND-A(b) TEXTUAL CORRESPONDENCE REF: “HIGH PRIORITY SECURITY ANNOUNCEMENT” 2083-12-12

#COMPANY WIDE ANNOUNCEMENT#

This is a notice regarding a breach of sensitive data which occurred on 12/12/2083, at 1301 UTC.
The reason for the breach was: INCORRECT PROCEDURE FOLLOWED DURING MANUAL MAINTENANCE OF SERVER ROOM 4019a.
The culprit of the breach was: EMPLOYEE-91848184.
The following information regarding 6712 WST employees was published to several public domains:

– Full name, date of birth, sex, ethnicity
– Blood type
– Medical history
– Browsing history, including records produced during the WST pre-employment background check
– Purchase history, including records produced during the WST pre-employment background check
– Financial history, including records produced during the WST pre-employment background check
– Login details for WST employee tracker
– Employee tracker history, including biometrics (heart-rate, temperature, pupil dilation etc.)
– Restroom Time-Wasting Monitoring Camera footage
– Report history
– Restroom Time-Wasting detections
– Disciplinary notices
– Records of potentially compromising information regarding employee
– Advertising profile
– Complete body measurements, including genital and internal

WST take data breaches very seriously, and are currently working on the following solution:
NO SOLUTION FOUND WITHIN ACCEPTABLE RESOURCE BOUNDARIES: NO ACTION WILL BE TAKEN.
RESOURCE BOUNDARIES CONSIDERED: “The solution may take: no more than 0.0000000 seconds, no more than 0.000001 watt power consumption.”

END OF MESSAGE

+++ WST MIND-C TEXTUAL CORRESPONDENCE REF: “REDUN-10592G/ps”

>DEAR EMPLOYEE-7958126,
AT 18:01:19:01 11/12/2083 GMT, WST MIND-C(d) CONCLUDED THAT THE GENERAL AREA OF YOUR CUBIC WORK ENVIRONMENT WAS THE SOURCE OF A SCENT (ref: “OLD SALMON”).
THE FOLLOWING ACTIONS HAVE BEEN UNDERTAKEN BY WST MIND-C ON BEHALF OF WST:

> A DISCIPLINARY HEARING WAS HELD AT 12/12/2083 AT 08:03 IN ABSENTIA. YOU WILL BE ABLE TO THE TRANSCRIPT.
> YOUR EMPLOYMENT AS ref: 281.79/G “PROCEDURAL CATERER” HAS BEEN REVOKED EFFECTIVELY IMMEDIATELY. 
> WST SECURITY ENFORCEMENT AND INTERNAL AFFAIRS BUREAU AGENT 24796 AND AGENT 27878 HAVE BEEN DISPATCHED TO REMOVE YOU AND ANY PERSONAL PROPERTY FROM YOUR CUBIC WORK ENVIRONMENT. PLEASE DO NOT RESIST.
WST WOULD LIKE TO ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR EMPLOYMENT.
END OF NOTICE.

>Dear WST MIND-C,
Employee: EMPLOYEE-7958126
Purpose of correspondence: Request of reconsideration
Internal reference: REDUN-10592G/ps
I would like to request that you reconsider my termination.The salmon in my desk was NOT put there by me! I fully consent to paying compensation for the discomfort that was caused, but please let me keep my job!
END OF MESSAGE

>DEAR EMPLOYEE-7958126, 
AT 11:40:43:29 12/12/2083 GMT, WST MIND-C(c) RECEIVED YOUR ELECTRONIC MESSAGE:
“Employee: EMPLOYEE-7958126 Purpose of correspondence: Request of reconsiderationInternal reference: REDUN-10592G/ps
I would like to request that you reconsider my termination.The salmon in my desk was NOT put there by me! I fully consent to paying compensation for the discomfort that was caused, but please let me keep my job!
END OF MESSAGE”
YOUR MESSAGE HAS BEEN ACKNOWLEDGED. THE TEXT-ENCODED RESPONSE TO YOUR QUERY FROM WST MIND-C(c), AS PROCESSED BY WST MIND-C(h) IS AS FOLLOWS:
YOUR EMPLOYEE ID CANNOT BE VERIFIED AS YOUR EMPLOYMENT WITH WST WAS ENDED AT 08:03 12/12/2083. THIS APPEAL HAS THEREFORE BEEN DENIED.
END OF RESPONSE

+++ WST MIND-C TEXTUAL CORRESPONDENCE REF: “CONFIDENTIAL” 2083-12-11.3

#CONFIDENTIAL#
#SITE 49F BUILDING 21 STAFF ONLY#
IT HAS COME TO OUR (WST MIND-C AND WST MIND-H) THAT THERE HAS BEEN EVIDENCE OF DISSEMINATION IN YOUR RANKS. 

WST MIND-C(d) HAS REVIEWED THE FILES FROM THE DISCRETE RECORDING DEVICES THROUGHOUT SITE 49F BUILDINGS 18 THROUGH 27 (inclusive).
THE TEXT-ENCODED RESPONSE FROM WST MIND-C(d), AS PROCESSED BY WST MIND-H(a) IS AS FOLLOWS:
DEAR EMPLOYEES OF WST, LOCATED AT SITE 49F WITHIN BUILDING 21,
IT APPEARS THAT MANY OF YOU HAVE BECOME DISTRESSED WITH THE ODOUR OF SALMON AGED BEYOND WST-AGREED CONSUMPTION-SAFE LIFESPAN (approx 3-4 days over lifespan). 
WE HAVE CONCLUDED THE ORIGIN OF SOURCE TO BE THE MIDDLE DRAWER IN THE DESK SITUATED WITHIN THE CUBIC WORK ENVIRONMENT OF EMPLOYEEE-7958126.
EMPLOYEE-7958126 IS ADVISED TO REFER TO ‘EMAIL REF: “REDUN-10592G/ps”‘. 
IN ORDER TO AVOID ANY FURTHER DISSEMINATION ALL EMPLOYEES OF SITE 49F BUILDING 21 WILL BE GIVEN THE FOLLOWING MIDSHIFT HUMAN-STYLE MEAL: x1 “LUXURY BAKED MEAT-STYLE CUBE” : 81.7& FAT, 8.1% MEAT “MISC”, 6.5& SUGAR, 3.4% SALTS, 8.1% “MISC”, 0.3 FLAVOUR MIXTURE (MEAT “MISC” EXTRACTION, MSG, GRAPE PULP). x1 “WST PALE BREAD PORTION” : 61.8% SUGARS, 26.4% “MISC”, 8.4% FAT, 3.1% SALTS, 0.3% FLAVOUR MIXTURE (MSG, MUSHROOM EXTRACTION, MEAT “MISC” EXTRACTION).
THIS GENEROUS MIDSHIFT MEAL HAS AUTOMATICALLY BEEN DOCKED FROM YOUR PAY.
END OF RESPONSE
END OF BROADCAST