#COMPANY WIDE BROADCAST#
Dear employees,
it
is the 10th day of ADVENT. Therefore there we are 14 days away from
CHRISTMAS. Brand new luxury treats are available from the internal
manufactory. These new treats utilise an advanced human-style unique
recipe:”LUXURY COOKED
AND BAKED GOOD, WITH FLAVOURING” : 57.2% FAT, 42% SUGAR, 0.5% SALTS,
0.3% FLAVOUR MIXTURE (MUSHROOM EXTRACTION, MSG, MUSHROOM EVAPORATION,
MUSHROOM OIL, SOYA ISOLATE, GRAPE PULP POWDER, EVAPORATED GRAPE PULP,
COW MILK POWDER, COW YOGHURT POWDER, COW BEEF PROTEIN POWDER). Estimated
shelf life of
LUXURY COOKED AND BAKED GOOD, WITH FLAVOURING: 22.1E+004 years.
LUXURY
COOKED AND BAKED GOOD, WITH FLAVOURING was tested in our internal
laboratory for contaminants. The lab tested for heavy metals and toxic
ingredients. The tests were carried out by WST auto-testing machinery. The results of the tests were observed by WST MIND-A(b), processed for 0.0327189 seconds, and destroyed by a WST
MIND-A(b) database cleansing routine. If you would like a copy of the
results of this testing, you will not be able to obtain one, as they
have been destroyed.
Mandatory
19-page requisition forms will be distributed to employee terminals.
Bring your completed requisition forms to your nearest requisition
office to recieve your complementary pack of 4x
LUXURY COOKED AND BAKED GOOD, WITH FLAVOURING.
As a special treat, the WST
music generation routine will be playing “CHRISTMAS-THEMED GENERATIONAL
ALGORITHM, BASED ON THE MELODIC PATTERNS OF 20000 ‘CHRISTMAS SONGS’.
GENERATED USING AN ALGORITHMIC MIX OF: 98% CHRISTMAS-THEMED, 1.7%
EXPERIMENTAL (MANDELBROT-CONWAY CHAOS-INDUCTION), 0.3% AFRO-CARRIBEAN
DRUM.” for six hours each day. Please enjoy this: it is being done so
that you can enjoy it.
MERRY ADVENT DAY 10.
Return to work immediately, now that you have read this text.
THE DATE IS 10/12/2083, 14:58 GMT
WST Mind Correspondence 